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-You will read every piece of writing he has ever done and be supportive of all his creative outlets.

When you then ask him to read your own novel he will drop it after chapter one because it's a waste of his time. -You will give him the greatest head of his life on a regular basis. -He will make sure you know that you aren't very hot, only sort of cute, and that your head is too big for the rest of your body.

Plainly put: this is the advice that men wish they had heard when they were 16, that teaches them all the important lessons about sex and dating they are desperate to learn.

The primary question that arose afterwards was, "What kind of girl would go out with this asshole? I cut off all my hair with kitchen scissors like Frida Khalo. I have decided to make an itemized list of reasons why I might want to cut off all my hair like a rape victim. If anyone were to make a medicine to cure low self-esteem, I'd take it in spades; I'd do the 10k walk for closet self-loathers, and wear the empty wine bottle lapel pin.

He was a 2009 Time 100 finalist based on internet votes, although he did not make the magazine list.

He began his career by publishing The Definitive Book of Pick-Up Lines (2001), which he followed up by Belligerence and Debauchery: The Tucker Max Stories (2003).

-He will scream at you because you don't like the instant coffee he bought you.

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Later, he will not stop e-mailing this same whore, because all whores come before your feelings even if the whores are half as attractive and barely capable of forming cogent sentences.She flips out on me like every third day." -When you go to stay with your parents (read: bawl day and night) for two weeks, he will fuck other women in your bed.

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