Also, since dating a Black man is more of a novelty or thrill for White women, and they do not have any cultural context of growing up and dealing with Black men, they lack a certain hesitation to submit to them that would more inherently come from a Black woman.
Submission does not mean she does everything you say, when you say it. You’re dealing with another grown person, and you are supposed to be a team.
It’s another ugly stereotype, and there are plenty of successful, educated, self-motivated Black women out there. See.” Unfortunately, however, this comes off to men as not wanting a man at all.
Some of these women use “I don’t need a man” to say: “Hey, we’re not all like that. You’re successful, stable and have enough self-love that you don’t need a man, but you want one, right?
Instead, show him the places you do need him, because love, affection, companionship and sex are things you likely still want from a man. Some Black women don’t want to say how they feel lonely without a man, how they feel, out of all their success, he’s the only thing truly missing, and how they want nothing more than to give all of their love to a Black man, because, often times, if a Black woman is vulnerable and honest about those feelings, she’s called desperate by Black men. Also, while a woman shouldn’t pursue a man purely for his money, if you really want to be a provider and contribute financially to her life, you can’t turn around and get mad when an independent woman asks you to pay a bill just because “she got it.” The idea that a White woman knows how to submit and let a man lead, while a Black woman does not, is both contentious and false. Will Black women submit in the same speed and to the same type of Black men as a White woman? There’s an expectation that every man should be the leader, and his woman should submit to him.This notion comes from the age old “angry, black woman” idea.Black men have used this as a reason why they prefer the more “calm, level-headed” White woman.You’ll see how quick we are to point out our issues with the other gender, but rarely accept hard truths about our gender or do anything to change them.
What if we started thinking of solutions, instead of just the problems?It ties in historically with the above issues with White women traditionally being painted as more docile and Black women having to fill male roles that White women just haven’t had to fill. However, what about the man who does not have good leadership skills, the man, who if followed, could lead a woman astray, the man who is weak-minded and weak-willed, the man who is not a good man?