When you're anxious, you're usually not present in the moment. Your date is ordering an appetizer, and you're imagining what the faces of your future children will look like."Oh wow, she has really straight, beautiful teeth. Something about having so much nervous energy makes us anxious people inclined to recklessly spill our deepest, darkest secrets to an innocent victim. Maybe when you have so many emotions stewing inside of you, everything just POURS OUT the moment you release a little bit.Or, maybe you just had too many pre-date personality drinks, and your boundaries are out of whack."I'm gonna die."The experience was so scary, I quickly became anxious all the time that I was going to be this level of anxious again.And, in turn, this cycle of anxiety resulted in an anxiety disorder. )Anxiety disorders are a total BLAST when you're dating. Taking a break from the dating world to actually deal with my "issues" would mean a sexless life, and there was no way in hell I was going to do that. My best friend Lilly* suffers from anxiety, too, but she's also a big dater.Rather, it means more when you make people earn your trust, instead of serving it to them on a sparkling silver platter. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a dysfunctional dynamic, where your partner will always see you as the person who needs to be rescued.Sometimes, when I'm super anxious, I can be a total bitch from hell.
One afternoon, when we were three champagnes deep, we came to the dramatic realization that our dating lives were totally parallel.Anxious people get stuck in this stupid cycle where we can't stop apologizing for anything. But remember, being anxious does not mean you're weak.Having anxiety does not mean your identity has drowned in a sea of "I'm sorry."Feeling anxious is just a mental state you happen to find yourself in because you're highly creative and very in tune with the general emotions of this world.It would take one big glass of wine to slightly ease our nerves and another big glass to give us the courage to actually take a taxi to the date.
And occasionally, we would even do a shot of liquor before we went out the door, just in case the taxi ride was long and we sobered up by the time we arrived.
Regardless, every anxious creature I know overshares.