There are lots of more productive, enjoyable things to worry about. You really do have so much time and life is not a race, FFS.
Choose your path and dreams, and only THEN let a guy along for the ride. Once you date around a bit, you finally realize that the mysterious, moody dudes look cool on TV aren’t really all that fun in real life. It might sound silly to say that bad dates are a waste of makeup, but they are. You’ll never get all these amazing cellulite-free years back, so don’t waste them waiting around for a guy. The problem is that you think you’re running out of time, but there is no limit to when love can happen. You worry so much about whether or not you can trust the guy you’re dating, but what about trusting yourself?
Even if you didn’t one time and then you regretted it because you knew it was a dumb thing to do. It’s okay if you do a dumb thing once, but don’t keep doing the dumb thing. In all honesty, this one applies to me today as much as it did in my twenties. I don’t talk to her about my problems or turn to her for advice.
But we never quite established that type of relationship and sometimes I wish we had.
Instead of thinking you’re only into one kind of guy, go out there and give them all a test drive. Soon you won’t even remember why you were so wrecked about him. But here’s what you will remember: all the time gone to waste on his loser ass. You try so hard to look your best and then you end up stuck with a guy who doesn’t even notice you or makes you cry, wasting your expensive mascara. If your mascara is running after a date and it’s not from tears of laughter, lose the guy. This is the most important thing and if you can ace it in your 20s, you’ll be on the right track. If you don’t like something that your BF is doing, you really don’t have to stick around with him. End things and be with someone who treats you like the goddess you are.
You’ll be surprised at what you find works for you — and knowing will be half the battle down the line when it IS time to settle down. If you’re so focused on finding love that you totally forget about growing up and loving yourself, you spend your 20s losing yourself, undermining yourself or allowing men to treat you badly. Love yourself and what makes you awesome and this will just make your relationships better because you won’t be trying to get some guy’s approval all the time. Don’t allow the bad guys to make you jaded or hold you back from having fun. Instead of thinking that you somehow have to settle for jerks and try to fix toxic relationships, you should take your blinkers off and seen that there are so many other great guys out there worthy of your time. Listen to your gut so that it steers you away from all the relationship BS that you don’t need. The most important thing is to be committed to your wellbeing, more than any guy.
She writes for local and international websites, with a special interest in writing about dating.
In her spare time, she can be found blissed out in a bookstore or writing fiction of her own.
When I started out as a journalist, a dating coach I interviewed for an article told me that a woman’s 20s are for having fun and that we should only focus on finding lasting love when we hit the big 30. Here’s why that’s such amazing advice: There’s plenty of time for seriousness later.
Guys will come and go, but you’ll be with you forever. Thinking you’ve met your soulmate when it’s only been three dates just creates expectations and completely rules out other opportunities.